England In, Chelsea Outed
BY ST. GEORGE THEY’VE DONE IT!
Congratulations to England on winning the 2010 World Cup! Their commanding 5 – 1 win over the Croats at Wembley on Wednesday sealed the World Cup title after the rest of the world, in awe of the English performance, threw their hands up in surrender.
The England squad celebrated into the wee hours of the morning as did the whole of England. Every player seemed to be having the time of his life, all except David Beckham who is rumored to be upset that he won’t get at least 3 more meaningless caps in the summer and that he now has no excuse to leave the Galaxy for another loan spell.
"I gotta get out of here" (Credit: njmg.typepad.com)
Another thing to note, Lampard and Gerrard were both kept at least 25 yards away from each other during the nights festivities. Obviously a move by Capello.
Too close for Capello's liking. (Credit: arsenalcolumn.files.wordpress.com)
Also, Heskey was left with the nights tab.
"Are you guys ******* kidding me?" (Credit: static.guim.co.uk)
…If only winning the tournament were that easy. If only it was as easy as the Croatia “test” for England at Wembley. It is safe to say that Slaven Bilic and his side were not the same squad who famously kept England out of the Euro 2008 competition. But make no mistake, Fabio Capello has completely turned this England team around since his arrival. Is he really that good? Or is it just a matter of having a foreign manager to take some of the media heat off of the situation allowing the players to play their game?
It looks like he really is that good. Any man who can lead his team to a 5 – 1 victory with Emile Heskey as one of his strikers is fine by me. I don’t mean to knock Heskey, since his work ethic is so noticeable but the chances he missed right in front of goal proved that in any other squad he would be a temporary solution. The problem is that England don’t have another solid front man to chose from. Carlton Cole? Peter Crouch? If only Michael Owen wasn’t Michael Owen and instead was Michael Owen.
But let us focus on the positives for a moment (how very un-English, I know). Franky Lampard and Stevie G bag two goals each, three of which scored by way of header and the other scored by a confident Lampard from the spot. The best part? Aaron Lennon gets Man of the Match. Yes, his dancing feet fooled Simunic into conceding the spot kick, but his cross to Gerrard for the second goal was a thing of beauty. For those of us who have played the game we can understand how incredible it feels to use vision and to pick out a player with a long pass that leads to a goal. Anyone however, no matter the level of experience in the game, can see what a great play that was by Lennon. Maybe I’m over doing it but I can’t help it. I love a good pass.
So it is on to South Africa then. England fans can be a bit more confident this time around with a manager who looks like he has things under control.
CHELSEA
Hey! Guess what. FIFA have banned Chelsea from making any transfers for the next two windows! The story goes like this:
Sepp Blatter was on vacation in West London when he decided to stop by Stamford Bridge for a visit. Peter Kenyon (the incredibly wonderful man he is) invited Blatter into his private office for some tea and mini pizzas, which were all eaten by Sepp in record time, and he was still hungry.
When Kenyon went downstairs to pay for the three large pizzas he had to order, Blatter decided he was bored and needed some entertainment. He thumbed through Kenyon’s DVD collection and almost picked out the oddly named “Fergie and Me,” but decided instead on “Chelsea training 09,” expecting to see Michael Ballack and Florent Malouda practicing free kicks. What he saw instead, made him sick to his stomach. There were teenagers in Chelsea training kits being forced to run wind sprints at the sound of a whistle.
Child Slavery at it's worst (Credit: chelseafc.com)
Youths being told to juggle footballs for a minute straight. Nasty tactical orders were barked in their general direction from the touchline during a scrimmage. Only during stoppages were the poor teens allowed to get a drink of water. Blatter couldn’t believe the slavery that he was witnessing. He ran for the door screaming, past Kenyon in the hallway carrying his pizzas, and out to his private jet. Food, for once would have to come second. There was work to be done.
Back at FIFA headquarters, Blatter dug through his dusty files and found a two year old complaint from RC Lens about French youth Gael Kakuta’s move to Chelsea. Blatter grinned from ear to ear. He had them now….
It would all make more sense that way wouldn’t it? What doesn’t make sense is how FIFA are going about this ban order. Their goal however, is quite clear. It’s time for the big bossy clubs to not be so big and bossy. If it is proven that Chelsea went about their acquisition of Gael Kakuta illegally, and FIFA want to set this precedent, then no worries. But then they cannot stop with Chelsea. They must go after other illegal, corrupt youth dealings and transfers in every country which is something, sadly, I cannot see them doing.
FIFA must be careful with this. Since the announcement of the ban, Manchester United, Man City and Liverpool have all been accused of similar shady transfers. The domino effect has begun. It will be interesting to see what FIFA does when a French club is accused of the same thing.
Will the talented Kakuta be worth the trouble? (Credit: timesonline.co.uk)
Time will tell on how this pans out for Chelsea, as an appeal will be made by the club. Hopefully, Gael Kakuta will be worth all of the trouble in the long run.
